i'm just a summer girl.

"You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight."

--Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

I was anxious about this summer. I was excited about this summer. I was worried about this summer. And I was ready for this summer. To the core, I may be a reckless, winter loving mountaineer, but deep down, I am a summer girl.

Already it is June. Already the temperatures are starting to peak. And already, I am wondering where exactly this summer is taking me.

Starting the summer in Vietnam was...well...beautiful, to say the least. To have such an intense, life changing, and amazing experience in just 10 days, and then return back home was whirlwind.

And when I returned home, I was happy. It was good to be back in the cool Colorado altitude, the company of my family, and the familiarity that coming home always provides. I was thrown for a loop when I lost my job after a week of being home, found myself in the midst of some rocky family business, and in an unsure place with my friends. And yet, I knew, no, I felt that everything that was beautiful was here. It was with me. And just because a few things spontaneously alter my plans for this summer, well, it just goes to show that sometimes plans suck. Plans don't always leave room for the unexpected, for the alternative path, and hell for the right path. Humans are wrong. A lot.

What I have learned in just a short month, has been to find beauty in everything. It's easy to write about, it's even easier to talk about, but being able to find beauty in not just the overt wonders of life, but also the small things. The things that others may not find at first. The things that look like nightmares at first. The things that are covered in what looks to the straightforward mind as worthlessness, when really they can mean the world.

Having some of my plans go kaput is beautiful.

Finding a passion for yoga is beautiful.

Rekindling old relationships with friends is beautiful.

Sunbathing in my backyard with my blind dog by my side is beautiful.
Crying is beautiful.
Laughing is beautiful.

Going to the pool only to be rained on is beautiful.

Having diverging viewpoints about God and spirituality is beautiful.

Having my best friend live 45 minutes away is beautiful.

Returning to the Gathering Place is beautiful.

Running in the State Park is beautiful. Being able to run 40 minutes without stopping is beautiful.

Singing in the car is beautiful.

People watching in City Park is beautiful.

Writing letters and receiving letters is beautiful.

Missing my best friends is beautiful.
Eating too much icecream is beautiful.

Driving on I-25 and being stuck in Denver traffic is beautiful.

Watching my brother make mistakes and then learn from them is beautiful.

Reading until the wee hours of the morning is beautiful.

The more I search my heart, the more I meditate on the summer that I have been having, I find myself having few complaints. I am blessed to have what I have in my life. I think the people, the circumstances, the spirit, and the beauty around me is a lot like watching a magnficent sunset over the west to the Rocky Mountains, seeing the perfect golden colors intertwine to remind us of what this glorious Earth holds for us. What God provides. And then to know, that the sun will rise the next morning, with equal beauty, and equal magnimity.

And it's also beautiful to know that the small things do matter. And that when I return to school, and back to my life at Hendrix, saying hi to acquaintances walking near Mills, sending sweet notes to my friends, watching the squirrels run around like hyperactive toddlers, and just enjoying the experience as a whole is what matters.

It's funny because this summer I have had time alone to think. I always value the time I have alone, but this summer I have grown as an independent woman, more than ever before. I've been thinking a lot about change, particularly in regards to the environments that I have been in--from high school, to college, to my home, to around the world--it has all impacted me, and I have responded to change in such different ways. When I graduated high school, and my friends and I took pictures outside the Ritchie Center on the DU campus, I recognized that change would likely happen, but that it couldn't and wouldn't change my relationships with my friends. As far as I was concerned, we were solid.

It's all changed.

The dynamics that I have with my friends at home are all sorts of crazy. Nothing is the same, and 2 years ago, I never would have predicted what has become of my relationships. It's been bittersweet.

And maybe, instead of fighting this change like I did 2 years ago, you can use change to carry you from one life experience to the next.

That's really what this summer is about for me. I am changing, I am digesting the changes that have already occured, and have yet to come. It's all beautiful. It has to be. Because it is our duty to find beauty in life, no matter how small. No matter how slight. No matter how insignificant. Life, and everything in it, is, at its very essence, beautiful. I'm really just a summer girl. Not because of the hot and sweltering sun, not because of the long lazy days with the girls, not even because of the freedom to take spontaneous adventures. No, I'm just a summer girl because it's in the summer where I can thrive in my independence, I can reflect on the change in my life, and I can accept the little things as beautiful. Yes, I'm just a summer girl.

Mexico

7 days.

7 perfect, wonderful days.

I just got back from Mexico less than a week ago and I still can't take the smile of my face. What's more is that I still have my rockin tan. Teehee. I can still feel the insurmontable heat on my skin, the sound of the waves crashing along the shore, and the taste of insatiable strawberry daquiris (ahem, virgin of course). My dad, Lance and I had blast on our trip and really, it was exactly what we all needed. I have been having a busy summer filled with work, internship, friends, coaching, and exercising. It's been a blast. Truly. But I needed time to leave it all behind for just a little while and relax. My dad and Lance have been doing much of the same things: working and keeping busy. We knew that this vacation could not have come at a more opportune time and I truly believe that the trip brought us all closer together.

We spent the first day of our trip pretty much traveling. We had to get to the Denver airport relatively early to make our connecting flight to Dallas. Once we got into Dallas we had to wait for quite some time...our plane was delayed for mechanical reasons. Yet, once we got on the plane to head towards Cancun we were PUMPED. Lance and I had a hard time staying still the whole way there, and my dad had to tell us to be quiet more than once. Ha, just like old times. We finally made it to Cancun around 10:00. The first thing I did? Well of course..I had to check out the ocean! The water was so warm, so beautiful. It was different from the other times I have been to Mexico. In Puerta Vallarta the water was a rich, navy blue. In Cabo San Lucas the water was much colder. I smile as I recall Audra and I sitting on the beach with those boys from Wyoming late at night...hahaha...but that is another story, another time. Anyway, the water in Cancun was TURQUOISE. A deep mix of light blues, topaz, and more. Stepping into it was refreshing; it was so welcoming and so warm. It was unlike anything I have experienced.

We spent the first day lounging around the pool and the ocean. My dad surprised me. He is quiet around some people. In fact, unless he is around family and familiar people he tends to be quiet. Oh no. Not here. My dad literally was friends with everyone in the hotel by day 2. The waiters knew his drink order, and he somehow managed to become Mr. Popular. Me, on the other hand made friends with the ocean. I read Twilight in 2 days and just listened to my IPOD under the cabanna. LIFE WAS GOOD.

Our first big adventure came on 4th of July! My it was strange not being in the USA for the 4th. Especially since it is one of my favorite holidays! The hotel put up a couple decorations here and there, and some local clubs were having Independence Day bashes..but otherwise it was just another normal day in Mexico. We decided to go snorkeling. We left Cancun and went to a marina just outside the city. It was beautiful. The captains of the boat led us on board and we were headed out to sea! When we finally got to jump into the water I was just so..exhilarated. I saw SO many fish. More than that, Lance and I got to feed the fish. We were practically swimming with them! AHHH it was so exciting. After that we all participated in what was dubbed "The Spiniker." It is like parasailing, but more like a swing in the air. Lance bellyflopped in, I swung like a monkey, and my dad yelled "I have no control of my life!!" I think everyone thought we were the freaks on the boat, but hey, what's new.

After we got back from snorkeling we got a little dose of the real Cancun. The Cancun outside the Hotel Zone, the Cancun outside tourism. We went to the heart of the city on a city bus. My dad gave the bus driver a few pesos and we stepped on. Immediately, I felt out of place. As I looked at the faces of the people on the bus, looking back was a group full of curious locals. It appeared as though many were just getting off work and heading back to their homes. They seemed to wonder what these Americans could possibly be doing on a city bus, and I couldn't help but smile when my dad started talking to one of them. It is amazing how nothing ceases him from embracing strangers. It is a gift. We drove for close to an hour; at one point we thought we had gotten on the wrong bus and weren't even going to get back to our hotel. But that became minute when we passed homes built out of sticks, beggars running through the streets, and dogs running on the sidewalks with tumors bulging out of their poor, tender skin. It was a whole other world...and only about 10 minutes from our hotel. We didn't say anything to eachother as we passed through the poverty-stricken streets. All I could really think about was how selfish I felt for being on vacation. I felt as if I was strutting how luxurious or rich I looked to be...I felt like was so absorbed in being on vacation that I forgot to think what it was like for the locals. For tourists to constantly be in their homeland, swarming the beaches like cattle. Okay, that might be a little exaggerated, but I just felt helpless. All I could do was look and wonder how they managed to get by with so little. God is in control. I had to repeat that to myself on the way back to the hotel. Over and over again.

The next day was a day that any adventurer would live for. We went to Tulum which is a site for ancient Mayan ruins. One word. COOL. It was thrilling to be on the old stomping grounds for the Mayans and to hear about their culture and ways of living. As a history buff, I was fascinated and wanted to hear more and more about the Mayans. Our next big adventure occured the next day and it was by far the highlight of the trip for my dad: deep sea fishing. We got on a fishing boat with another family from Nebraska and we went miles and miles out into the middle of the Carribbean Sea. As I looked down, I remember being able to clearly see the tranquilty of the fish as they moved through the coral, and occassionally seeing a big baracuda ready to invade and eat some dinner. Dad ended up catching a sailfish (like a marlin) while Lance and I both got baracudas. The feeling of reeling in a big fish was new and exciting; the biggest fish I recall ever catching was a salmon in the cold, rushing rivers of Colorado. Needless to say, we pulled back into the pier a happy bunch.

The rest of the trip was spent around the hotel and around the ocean. At one point my dad and I tried to find a bookstore in the middle of downtown Cancun. Two taxis, a bus, and three blocks of walking later we came upon a mall and finally found the bookstore. OF COURSE there was a small English section. With about 4 different selections for English readers. Bugger! I had been looking for the sequel to Twilight but even though it was a failed mission it was quite interesting. I spent a lot of my time by the ocean just taking it all in. I felt so small in the midst of the millions of grains of sand and of the powerful ocean. It is utterly breathtaking to know that God created all of the beauty on this earth. As I dug my feet further and further into the sand I spent time thinking about what God has done in my life, what I have been through, the relationships I have built, my dreams, and what I truly love. That I think was the best part of this vacation. I had time to reflect. I had the freedom to take it all in. Not only this, but I had thoughtful conversations with both my dad and Lance. We spent hours every night at dinner laughing and gazing into the ocean. I am so blessed to have had this experience..especially with those two. After 7 glorious days I have a new appreciation for my life, for Lance, for my dad, and for all the blessings that God has given me. Mexico was pretty much baller.

As the plane headed BACK to Dallas lifted off and I had a chance to look down and see the landscape of the Yucatan Peninsula I smiled. I smiled not just because of the great memories I made and not just because of the good food I consumed, but because I grew closer to my family and grew closer with God.