warriors in the big city

Think of New York City.

Think of the big buildings, the bustling people, and the noise.

The sounds of feet quickly passing through the blocks that seem endless, of taxis honking to make it through the city, and the small shops on corners that might just have the best pizza that money can buy.

Think of this, all of this, and then think about the Hendrix field hockey team among all of this.

Yes, the field hockey team went to New York, and my oh my that was some kind of adventure.

Our time in the city was just a small part of our trip over Fall Break, and from the moment we left Hendrix (at 4:30 am mind you) I enjoyed every moment. With the field hockey team there is never a dull moment. Never.

When we got to Westchester County Airport we headed to our hotel in Stamford. If anyone on the team hadn't realized it before, they would certainly realize it now—Ellie Karvoski is a hilariously bad driver. Cutting in front of other drivers should always be expected with Ellie, and if you are trying to caravan with her, well, good luck. We made it to our hotel in Stamford and the hotel was wonderful! On our field hockey trips you never know what you are going to get with our lodging facilities, but Ellie got us the hook up this time! The Hampton Inn was great and not only did I get awesome roomies for the trip (Brandie, Stephanie, Lauren, and Julia) we got a sweet room! We got the suite because we needed an extra pull-out couch with 5 people in our room, but there were certainly no complaints here. Our room did have some problems—lack of working lights and a malfunctioned door—but hey, a small price to pay when you got sweet digs.

The hockey we got in this weekend was good hockey. I think it was a good experience for us to come to the Northeast and see other competition out there. And honestly, I am happy with where we are at. Even though we lost both games, the first one against Manhattanville in overtime, and then the second against Mount Holyoke 3-0, the bottom line is that we can compete. Really, we are right there. That is a very positive our team can take away from this trip, and looking forward it seems to me that we can be real contenders in our conference. Our record doesn't do us justice right now. For the past couple weeks we have been losing games that could have easily been wins. That has been complicated for me. It's complicated because we are IN these games. We aren't getting blown out which shows the big steps we have taken. But, to lose that many games not just by one goal, but really by just a few plays. If anything had gone differently, these games could have gone our way. We are so close. So close that it's amazing, really. We are a third year team in Arkansas that can compete with established teams, and I think that is a great thing. I think it is a testament to how hard we have worked, the commitment we have put forward, and the culture we are building with our team. I like where we are going. I do.

Away from hockey this weekend, our team definitely made some great memories. Fun car rides, deep talks in the hotel room, the assassin game, those crazy sock puppets, Katie dancing in the train station, Kelly singing at our team dinner, having great food at Ali's house, "This is so much fun" game, getting lost, the city, pretending to do homework, pillow fights, taking pictures, and everything in between.

After this trip, like I have learned the past couple of years, I know I can count on these girls for anything. Really, that's what it comes down to. Being on the field hockey team is a big commitment—bigger than probably most people even realize. Practicing every day, in any type of weather, and then sticking together throughout the whole season is just a small part of being on a team. It gets even tougher when trying to balance life as a college student too. But, I wouldn't trade it for anything. I can close my eyes and remember that moment when playing hockey in college became a definite "no." I remember thinking that walking away from field hockey was better for me anyway, and that really it's just a game. And yet, here I am. I can also remember that moment when I changed my mind. When everything worked out exactly how it should have, and I got a chance to keep on playing. It is just a game, but it's also a group of friends, a team, and community, and that is something I will have with me forever.

I love field hockey.

FOOTBALL

Confession: When I was a younger girl I had a secret fantasy.

No, not that kind of fantasy.

And no, it didn't involve pink.
It had nothing to do with being an actress (but, that was later in my youth, of course).
It was the furthest away it could be from becoming Miss America.
In fact, most girls entering their teenage years might have dreams of seeing the world, or maybe having the hottest boyfriend in school, or even making straight A's just to impress the teachers.
I, of course, was not that typical girl.
Sure, I liked pink. But I liked green better.
I liked ribbons. But I liked my hair back in a messy ponytail better.
And I liked dollhouses. But I liked grass stains better.
I liked boys. But they still had cooties.
And yes, I liked gymnastics, and even the girls soccer team that I was on.
But I liked something else better.

As far as I was concerned, I was going to play football. And nobody was going to stop me.

And yet, I must have known. I must have known the social norms about that sort of thing. A girl? Playing FOOTBALL? I never really mentioned this little plan of mine to either of my parents. I thought they would think I was crazy. And while me being crazy is certainly negotiable, I didn't think this plan was completely out of reach. After all, the Broncos had just won back to back Superbowls. They would be needing some serious talent to continue this run. Maybe a girl could be the answer? Maybe, I, Heather Newell, could play for the Denver Broncos.

So, I coerced Lance to play football with me in any spare moment. Like little kids immersed into their own little fantasy world, a world that only kids could create, we played. We designed secret plays. I would be the quarterback, Lance the receiver, and on our street, on the hot steaming pavement in late summer evenings, magic would happen. At least it would feel that way. When we were feeling particularly reckless, we would wait for our parents to go to sleep and then would play the "sacking game" on the couch. I would pretend to get the ball, and then proceed to try and avoid Lance, who would try to tackle me on the couch. It sounds silly. And looking back, it was. But I was taking this thing pretty seriously.

I remember when I realized this dream of mine, this fantasy was an impossibility. Normally, I don't believe in impossibilities, but ultimately playing football, for me, was not in my cards. I remember going to Lance's first pee-wee football game. The boys were good. Real good. And I thought about myself in one of those stinky, nasty uniforms. I thought about what it would like to be tackled, really tackled, by a boy. And somewhere, at somepoint between the touchdowns, half time snacks, and cheer, after the game I recognized that I just quite simply couldn't play football. And I was sad. I was. But I was okay. Because I knew I could focus my energies and dreams elsewhere.

I think my dream of playing football evolved into me becoming a hard core fan of football. After I started playing competitive soccer I found a niche, and football became more of a hobby instead. I collected every Bronco sports card I could find, and every year that we went to Broncos training camp, I would study the roster, and I would remember the players, their stats, and their contributions to the team. I could watch football on lazy Sunday afternoons, no problem. I would do my homework during commercials, and try to stay focused as my family and I always had serious debates about the state of the Broncos.

I think I love football because it's a perfect combination of physical competition, as well as strategy. I like trying to understand the plays. I like the absolute talent that football breeds; some of the players are just incredible. But I like football, most of all, because even though the winner changes, crazy plays happen, different players emerge as great, and each play leads to the unknown, it also stays the same. I find the same joy in eating a hamburger while watching the game. I find joy just watching the game play out, trying to decipher what could happen next.

And I like being a fan.
I think being a fan is fun. It creates community, unity, and cohesiveness. And, I like that. I like wearing Orange and Blue, and telling people that God is a Bronco fan simply because when the sun sets, blues and oranges often compose much of the color palette. Why else would God use those colors ; ) ?

And, many people think I'm crazy. That I'm crazy Bronco fanatic.
And I wouldn't say that. Already, I have embraced the Jets due to the influence of my northern friends, and ultimately I recognize that really, football is just a game. Like field hockey, like soccer, it is just a game.

But I keep watching because it's fun.
And I do still throw the pigskin around. These days, I have different dreams and goals, but when I throw that ball I remember what it felt like when I was a little girl and I wanted to play in the NFL. It's a good reminder of how strong dreams are, and that even if your dreams do not come true, everything happens just how it is supposed to.