let it fill the space between.

I've been home as long as I was there.

4 months ago, I came home from 4 months full of the adventure of a lifetime.
Except, the more I'm home and away from Ghana, the more I realize that while our time there was an adventure, it was more of a journey than anything else.
I've been continuing the journey here; I've been learning how to live my life away from Ghana. As everyday ticks by and each moment passes, I try to soak all of it up, but in the same moment, I try and remember what the past year has meant for me.

My biggest fear?
I will forget.
I will forget what that hot, dusty sun felt like fresh on my skin.
I will forget the cramped and yet comforting tro ride into town.
I will forget the comfort in a long lasting sip of citrus tampico, knowing that nothing else could quite quench my thirst (except for maybe some chilled Coke!)
I will forget my friends, our jokes, and what it felt like to be an American abroad.
My worst fear is I will forget what the lives were like for the kids I taught, for the Kissemahn kids. No, I won't ever forget the smell of sewage, of the laughter of their small voices, or even some of the topics we talked about together. But, will I forget what this means for the rest of my life? Will I forget what it felt like to actually BE THERE?

What happens if time takes that all away?

4 months later and I am not the same--nor will I ever be. Maybe it's this that will help me remember.
I've gained a little perspective, have my priorities better in line, and I appreciate the life I have had so so much more.
The last month of my life, especially, has confirmed that right now, I am exactly where I need to be. I love my family, I really do, but I don't know. Life just makes sense here now. So much of me is here. Coming back to Hendrix was coming home too, and it's been critical in helping me get back to living my life in this beautiful country again.
Maybe this is what happens when you find a home in more than one place--around the world even.

Maybe that is just the point. Home is beyond the house; home is your heart feeling perfectly in place.

For the first time in 4 months, it does.