You are Invited...

Pretty much one year to the day, I started and finished my Peace Corps application process. It's now over. Well, it's actually really just beginning, but the application part is done and done. I'm going to be serving in RWANDA, leaving in September.
I will head to an American city for two days (most likely Philly, PA) for a brief "staging" which is essentially a basic orientation.
And then, we will head as a group to fly out to Rwanda (probably out of NYC). We will spend the first three months as PCT (Peace Corps Trainees) in Rwanda going through cultural and language training. INTENSE training it seems. Assuming I make it through (if you know my language skills you would be concerned also...) then I will be sworn in as a volunteer (repeating the same statement the President of the United States takes when they are sworn in...) and I will move to SOMEWHERE in Rwanda where I will live and teach for 2 years. 24 months. A LONG time.
But I'm happy. excited. scared. nervous. A whole ton of things, really.
But mostly, I just want to say thank you to everybody, especially my friends and family for sticking with me during this long application process. I have been upset, mad, happy, crazy...all at different times. So, just thanks. It means so much to me.

pretty pretty mountains

Do What You Love

I came home from college (for the last time) 2 odd months or so ago.

In some ways it has felt like forever ago. In other ways, it has felt like I just got here. Most days though, it feels like I've been here at home forever.

It's not to say that's necessarily a bad thing; rather, I've just become so accustomed to the 8-4 (or sometimes 8-8) workdays that the days of late night studying in the carrels, watching random episodes of Friends in the HAM living room, and eating macncheese and chicken fingers for Friday lunch is so far removed from where I am right now. I miss those things a lot. Maybe even the studying? I really really do. Which is probably why adjusting to being back here albeit burritos all of the days and family all the time has still been a difficult season for me.

Of course, there have been lovely things about being here.
I have rather enjoyed eating my family's cooking. I have relished in going to Chipolte on the whim of a burrito craving, and there is something nice about having mountains back in the skyline again. And as always, it's been nice to be back with my crazy/weird/fun family again. Just when I think I have them all figured out....I definitely don't. It's fun.

I haven't been writing about this much lately, but I think as much as I love being around my family again, it's harder than ever before because I have felt much more closed off than I usually am. I'm not exactly someone who holds back; quite the opposite, much of the time I like putting myself out there and just going with it. But after graduation, I have found myself internally reflecting upon experiences, processing and digesting if you will, and I have let this kind of inner reflection stop me from really divulging a lot to my parents, but more so, my friends here too. I feel guarded. I just have these moments where I don’t feel as carefree as I enjoy being….and that’s hard.

So, I’m trying to get back to that in my life here. Of course, now it’s nearing the end of summer, but there is always a little time to be spontaneous and just dive into things with a little bit of light-heartedness. I hiked a mountain in the foothills just last weekend, to a place I have never been before. I know my parents really didn’t appreciate the whole I’m-going-hiking-alone-thanks-love-you-bye, but when I arrived home safely, they seemed to shrug it off. I ate dinner alone at a restaurant one weekend, which was, interesting for sure. More than just sparking some long lost sense of independence, it’s not like I’m trying to do things alone, I’m just doing things that add a little bit of spark into me again. I embrace (and always have) the feeling of waking up in the mornings and being excited. For whatever reason, that’s been a little missing, but I know I can get it back. I quit my second job realizing that all it was doing was adding extra baggage to my already full work schedule. I was tempted to just working the rest of the summer one time last week; but I sucked it up, ignored my people pleasing tendencies and politely confirmed that I would, in fact, be leaving next week.

I suppose the culmination of this desire to find spontaneity in my life can best be revealed in my upcoming three week trek over on the other side of the country. Even before that, Michelle is coming to Colorado and we are going to spend the weekend at my uncle’s cabin. It will be superb. I know it. Following her much anticipated visit, I will have to pack and hurry as I’m leaving that Friday for Little Rock—en route to Disney World with Rachel!!! I couldn’t be more excited. It’s just going to be exactly what we both need after a summer full of work, work, and more work. We will Disney-it-up, have a blast, and then move Rachel into her apartment in Murfreesboro, TN. No big deal, right? Then, it’s Michelle’s big day in Moscow, TN, and I will say some joyous hellos/difficult goodbyes before heading back to Hendrix for a week to visit and see the field hockey home opener.

I think it’s fair to say, that’s some major spontaneity.

But there’s a lesson in all of this, I think. There always is. It’s easy to be spontaneous when planning things on a whim; things that take you away and remove yourself from the daily grind of a working summer. It’s much harder with a work schedule when all you want to do is come home and rest after a long work day, which, a) is totally fine (welcome, even!) and b) usually quite necessary. Yet, I’ve realized that for me personally to be happy and content and to just enjoy the day, even it is just work, there has to be passion in my life—passion for a certain hobby or activity or idea or something I am learning about or even just passion to be around the people you love. This is essential to getting through times where you feel down, drained, and ready to throw in the towel. You just have to find what you like to do. It’s an old mantra I’m sure that Oprah has reiterated on her show countless times and an old adage that elderly men and women might confirm throughout their old age, but no matter what, it’s a timeless lesson with a lot of timeless value.
Confession.
Michelle told me just a couple weeks ago while we were on the phone that I had a future in being a life coach. Humbling and hilarious, I couldn’t help but smile and ponder the idea whimsically. Though I think I’m going to stick with the whole I-love-kids-let’s-inspire-them-to-reach-their-full-potential thing, this too, is a small macro example of being a life coach, right? So, maybe she was right all along. I am getting a clearer picture of what might be coming up next in my life. Whether it be evoking strong values and lessons to do my best and imitate what we call a “life coach” or you find me hanging out on the playgrounds with kids or you find me in an office doing clerical work or you just find me in a community somewhere in Africa, I hope that no matter what, I’m enjoying different aspects of my life. I’m exploring a variety of opportunities in life, and I am also relying on a sense of passion that has carried me this far. If I’m doing all these things, wherever I am, wherever my home may be, I am confident that I will be happy.

"The Rain of Love"

In so many ways, I wish I had brought my camera to our Growing Colorado Kids “free day” today.
Growing Colorado Kids is a nonprofit started by my friend Denise with the goal to allow refugee children and adolescents to continue ideas of sustenance and food that originated in their cultures back home. The children that are in the program have been displaced by international conflict, have resettled in Colorado, and this is one way they can contribute to their community while also growing and gardening—a piece of their lives that they are able to bring to their new home in America.
GCK is sponsored by several homeowners, and each Saturday, the kids divide into groups and go to houses around Denver to work on the gardens they have started. It so happened that because the gardens are looking so good this summer, this week was a free day! We loaded up all the kids (ages 6-16; from places all over Africa and now Burma) into about 4 different cars and headed to City Park. We picked a spot under a couple of gorgeous trees which happened to be adjacent to the mammoth worship experience a local Denver church was putting on for the 4th of July weekend. Baptisms included. A woman approached us to invite us to their free food of hotdogs and chips, but with a good portion of the kids being practicing Muslims we just said our “thanks” but “no, thanks.”
One of the volunteers, Patty, talked about nutrition for a bit, teaching the kids about 5-2-1-0 (5 fruits/vegetables a day, 2 hours or less of “screen time”, at least 1 hour a day of movement, and 0 sugary drinks).
After the kids drew on a plastic plate what they ate for breakfast (or did not eat), we raced, leaped, and soared into the spouting water fountain at City Park.
As I twirled a young girl around in the shooting water, I realized how amazing it would have been to have my camera with me today.
The look on her face was priceless, especially after she said, “I haven’t had this much fun since last summer when we came here.”
The shots would have been beautiful.
Yet, the best thing was that I was in the moment, not worried about much else. I felt happiness inside myself and all around me. Another young girl must have felt the same thing when she told me that we were dancing in “the rain of love.”
I didn’t need the photos today.
Mostly, I just needed today.
Check out Growing Colorado here:
http://www.9news.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=148292&catid=222
http://www.growingcolorado.org/